The First Essay

I remember the first composition/paragraph/essay sort of thing we were suppose to right back at school was "All About Me". Only now I realise why they did so. Your first form of writing should define you.. apparently a perfect start... perhaps to self-obsession but oh well. =p

   It's nice to define and redefine and renew oneself from time to time. We change without even realising. I used to think my friend, Hoppa, is the only person who's absolutely consistent with inconsistency. Now though, I think we all are. Inconsistency is creativity, change, learning, progressing and perhaps sign of vitality, atleast to me. Life's so boring when it's the exact opposite. Anyways, here's what HarleQueen and her life is about today.

- A dental-surgeon-in-making.. a few months away from the title "Dr."
- An artist, Harlequin. I carve handmade plaster of paris gifts, do trosseau wrapping, glass/tile painting, card-making..
- An entrepreneur, owner of Harlequin.Greetings, my online giftshop
- A writer, blogger, poet, playwright (comic skits for school and university).- Winner, 3rd Prize for Creative Writing, at IIPM, NewDelhi India,
- A public-speaker; debator, compere (LOTS and LOTS of awards from school, representation from my college at the Debate, Cicero's Challenge, India. Twice winner, second prize, at Dow University's annual debate competition.  Alhamdolillah alhamdolillah
All by Allah's Grace.
- Thinktank- love to muse and amuse myself with the ongoings of the world. I think I a lot at times, day-dream off and on (no more dreams at night for the past three years or so, or atleast none that I can remember). I used to dream alot! And could even recall every dream vividly. Not anymore. I'd like to think it's probably because I got in dentistry. Dream come true? But then I never dreamt of being part of dentistry. Loved it when I had it and so much that I bet it is better, no, wayyyyy better than a lot dreams I wished would come true. Allah Ta'ala has a much better plan for us than we have for ourselves.
- A daughter to two doctors. Doctor k bachey are completely different from most people coming from non-med backgrounds. Your normative views regarding most things are different. For one thing, we know life's never about us. Most of us, especially if you're the eldest, live with the notion that medicine is a legacy; medicine is the crown to the throne you dare not abdicate; taking up medicine is your responsibility; medicine is your only career choice even if you have inner capabilities to expand


                                                                                         to be continued... for sure =p

The Keera Extension- At the Chairside I

Dental Myths in Pakistan... there sooooo many. Not a day passes without me getting to hear something from my patients; something new, absurd to a dentally-educated mind and yet familiar to someone who was once a patient not the dentist. We all had crazy dental notions and so did I. This is my reminder to me, to be patient with my patients.

 Yesterday I was suppose to extract a carious second molar and a small third molar next to it. My patient, a 26 year old gentleman questioned me twice whether the keera would extend to his adjacent teeth if I would extract them.

Q. Kia keera doosre daaton mein nahi phhail jayega nikalne se?

Ans. Well, firstly what is a keera? I'm going to share this picture from the page dental myths and facts

So that black thing that seems like it "ate" your teeth wasn't a parasite. It was the bacterial acid content decaying your tooth.. it doesn't "spread". And no, extraction will simply take the tooth out of your mouth it nothing to do with causing tooth decay. 

Keep brushing and ALL your teeth will remain healthy. =)

Tremorrrs!!

I get back home; unwind; switch on the laptop and sit on the floor with my back to the closet.
Right below my room is the zabardasti ki gym-machine welding area, of the many recent additions in the neighbourhood that have made us seriously consider moving. The zing zing zing zing makes it impossible for me or anybody to take an afternoon nap and today it's on the regular, business routine with a zing zing zing zing again.

 So the laptop is switched on and before I can begin anything I realise, the closet I have my back resting on is shaking and so am I. The laptop screen is shaking. My bed, my bookshelves and the entire earth around me is shaking!!. It pauses for like 5 seconds and starts shaking again. Even more and that's when I rush out of my house with my sisters and brother to find all the neighbours gathered downstairs. Karachi just got hit by a 5.4 earthquake, the epicentre of which was Iran where it was 7.8-8.0.

 Thankyou Allah Ta'ala again for reminding us that truly we are but nothing and how uncertain the next minute is.
May Allah protect us all.

The gym is back to work; zing zing zing zinging again and I'm alhamdolillah alive and my room is intact and I hear it again.

Then and Now

   Final year... and ask myself.. how far have I come? A lot I'd say. Some lessons I ought to have learnt and embedded in my conscience and only during these few years did I truly do so. Let's say these four years gave me the capacity to do so. Alhamdolillah for everything though. I truly learnt to hold all my expectations from me and i think it's going well so far. Yes, I'm wayyyy too optimistic about somethings but that is necessary if progress is to be expected and worked towards. I feel far more opinionated than I was earlier. I love to reflect on life and it's many sides. It's fun. It's healthy.

  Crazily though I have to admit, funny and to some even eccentric as it may sound but good Pakistani dramas have always had their place in my reflections. Not all; not Humsafar (not as much) =p but quite a few. Back when i was a kid, growing with PTV played that part and today are the new dramas- Daam, Maat and Zindagi Gulzar Hai to name.

 As bright, shiny, smiley and optimistic I like being, it's life subtleties that attract and make me succumb into believing them... of the many are a few depicted in Zindagi Gulzar Hai. I wish the drama had a different name because I don't know why I don't like it but the story, the dialogues and the characters leave me in awe. I know there are a lot of people who'd contradict me, hate the drama and think it's a drag but the truth is you can only truly appreciate it all if you've seen all this or perceived in truth and reality. Alhamdolillah though I've never had to go through a lot depicted in there but I can relate to it, I've seen these characters all around me behaving so verrry like those characters.

This lady here, has got to be the finest actress to carry out this role. She isn't, as my friend puts it "Pretty-Puppetty" and that's exactly what makes her so good, I couldn't help but be awed by the author, the script and the directer for portraying this character with it's correct depth.. so apt.
Having a father, and yet never ever feeling that he has a hand, let alone an upperhand in your upbringing  and your progress creates such a vacuum in a person's life and state of mind that can only be filled by their own struggle with life's negativism and that is exactly what shapes Kashaf Murtaza.

 Lesson at the end of the day.. there is sooo much to be grateful for and appreciate in my life and at times looking at the negativity of it I tend to forget it all. Be grateful you have parents. Be grateful that your father is concerned, very concerned about your future; grateful that your mother is treated like a queen, you do not have to go through the turmoil they do. I'm not pitying them. One should not, it's an insult to their much greater self-esteem. The phrase that a diamond goes through all that heat to become a diamond, holds true. So people who do struggle this way are the best amongst us. Yes, hardships are brought in our path to help us, mould us into something better and shape us and polish us into becoming diamonds. So if you are the one going through those hardships, they are are something to be grateful for as well.

 My good texts are all saved in my old samsung-champ. Right now I'm a little too lazy and sleepy to fetch it and read a text I once sent a friend. It is actually a hadith I read and I think I should make it an affirmation to help me get through the day. I'm just going to give it's crux which is k Allah Ta'ala kisi k saath bhalai ka irada kartey hain tau unhe mushkil se dochar kardetein hain. True, there is goodness in both our ease and difficulty. SubhanAllah.

Off for now. A thought to sleep on.

The Need of the Hour.

  A pleasure it is to talk to Tahrim Farrukh my twinsie in spirit. Writing, oh how i miss blogging when I can't find the time to. *Happiness*

  Finally when I thought I'm immune to prostho allergens, allergic rhinitis came along. I think it came from the disinfectant i inhaled on the day of the denture-insertion. *Sighs* Allergies, Oh how will I make it through the dental school with them.. i wonder.. but then I've made it so far, I called in sick today. Resting at home. Stress is the biggest immunity-enemy ever. I've never been this stressed out in all these dental years as much as have been lately i guess that did it. So today I rest. Today I blog. Today I unwind. Today I reflect and today I recharge for tomorrow.

  So what do I write about today han? Recent achievements or miseries? I'll start with achievements:
- made my first complete denture and got my patient's duas
- my  fastest attempt at making white-sauce pasta. woke up at 5 in the morning and was done by 7. It would've been even faster but I was also de-waxing the denture wax-up. soooo
-worked and cooked simultaneously (multi-tasking is something to celebrate)
- attended shaukat khanum's head and neck cancer conference
-  read isolation from all three operative books on the.same.day in a few hours.. speeeeed =D
- got the raw material for dresses for Fahad Bhai, my cousin's shaadi. THIS is an achievement! Me getting family-shaadi dresses done early.. me proud B)

Miseries.. umm I'm not sure if I should call them so because well, I do believe everything happens for a reason. everything. And no matter how miserable it makes you, Allah has something better planned for us. So I suppose all these setbacks and challenges and events testing my patience are set out for a reason.
- I still have to get one more credit in prostho
-Dr.Anwar, our oral surgery teacher, confirmed that there is an extraction-quota. 250 extractions!
- i still have to complete ortho plates
I wonder what makes medicine students at dow say they're short of time. Dentistry is far more tough and definitely takes up more time. Yes the treatment scope narrows down to the oral cavity but these four undergrad years are wayyyyy to hectic.
Solution: Pray, work. pray it gets approved and keep calm and carry on.
-Next, I seriously feel like going into self-exile, surrounded by notions devoid of any sense or idea about what it is like  is to have a hobby, nurture it and keep at it because it works like therapy, perhaps even better. Crying was never any help to me. I never used to cry to make me feel better because it doesn't. I have had my own set of therapies.
- carving .. no time for that
- poetry.... hmmm not sure what to write about anymore
- writing... I'm at it =D
- reading... i want to re-read Harry Potter but .... no time.

sooo... writing it is for now..