Then and Now

   Final year... and ask myself.. how far have I come? A lot I'd say. Some lessons I ought to have learnt and embedded in my conscience and only during these few years did I truly do so. Let's say these four years gave me the capacity to do so. Alhamdolillah for everything though. I truly learnt to hold all my expectations from me and i think it's going well so far. Yes, I'm wayyyy too optimistic about somethings but that is necessary if progress is to be expected and worked towards. I feel far more opinionated than I was earlier. I love to reflect on life and it's many sides. It's fun. It's healthy.

  Crazily though I have to admit, funny and to some even eccentric as it may sound but good Pakistani dramas have always had their place in my reflections. Not all; not Humsafar (not as much) =p but quite a few. Back when i was a kid, growing with PTV played that part and today are the new dramas- Daam, Maat and Zindagi Gulzar Hai to name.

 As bright, shiny, smiley and optimistic I like being, it's life subtleties that attract and make me succumb into believing them... of the many are a few depicted in Zindagi Gulzar Hai. I wish the drama had a different name because I don't know why I don't like it but the story, the dialogues and the characters leave me in awe. I know there are a lot of people who'd contradict me, hate the drama and think it's a drag but the truth is you can only truly appreciate it all if you've seen all this or perceived in truth and reality. Alhamdolillah though I've never had to go through a lot depicted in there but I can relate to it, I've seen these characters all around me behaving so verrry like those characters.

This lady here, has got to be the finest actress to carry out this role. She isn't, as my friend puts it "Pretty-Puppetty" and that's exactly what makes her so good, I couldn't help but be awed by the author, the script and the directer for portraying this character with it's correct depth.. so apt.
Having a father, and yet never ever feeling that he has a hand, let alone an upperhand in your upbringing  and your progress creates such a vacuum in a person's life and state of mind that can only be filled by their own struggle with life's negativism and that is exactly what shapes Kashaf Murtaza.

 Lesson at the end of the day.. there is sooo much to be grateful for and appreciate in my life and at times looking at the negativity of it I tend to forget it all. Be grateful you have parents. Be grateful that your father is concerned, very concerned about your future; grateful that your mother is treated like a queen, you do not have to go through the turmoil they do. I'm not pitying them. One should not, it's an insult to their much greater self-esteem. The phrase that a diamond goes through all that heat to become a diamond, holds true. So people who do struggle this way are the best amongst us. Yes, hardships are brought in our path to help us, mould us into something better and shape us and polish us into becoming diamonds. So if you are the one going through those hardships, they are are something to be grateful for as well.

 My good texts are all saved in my old samsung-champ. Right now I'm a little too lazy and sleepy to fetch it and read a text I once sent a friend. It is actually a hadith I read and I think I should make it an affirmation to help me get through the day. I'm just going to give it's crux which is k Allah Ta'ala kisi k saath bhalai ka irada kartey hain tau unhe mushkil se dochar kardetein hain. True, there is goodness in both our ease and difficulty. SubhanAllah.

Off for now. A thought to sleep on.